Dear Miss Bossy Self,

In the close distance I see the storm building

looming

darkening

An uneasiness churns

sliding its icy fingers around the edges of my heart

and the first drops of rain

begin to fall

Chills of discontent,

wisps of loneliness,

whispered lies of hopelessness

claps of thunder

I must hide

Alarms go off within me

My bossy self, hisses her practiced warning,

“Stop! Be strong! Settle down!”

“Stop! Be Strong! Settle down1”

…I know the drill

I’ve been here before

The visiting darkness is not a friend

I know I must gear up

I know I must fight for peace

I know I must “not settle for less than His best”

And yet I drop,

shrink into a shell of me,

try to not be seen.

Honestly, I’m not sure I can rise this time.

…I am so so tired.

But then I feel Him next to me.

Present

Real

Lifting my chin

His gentle voice whispering away the night,

“Don’t look away, Punkin’

Keep looking into my eyes.

I’ve got you.

I promise.”

And somewhere, somehow, some way, a truth is dropped into my soul:

This fight isn’t mine.

I don’t need any gloves.

I don’t need to muster any strength.

I don’t need to shout trash talk to an enemy already defeated.

I need only to whisper His name, and listen to the steady gaze of Love whispering back to my heart,

“This battle is not yours, Sweetheart,

this battle is mine…”

So, Dear sweet, scared Miss Bossy Self,

The truth is I am not being asked to “settle down”

I am being asked to settle in,

settle into His arms

nestle near His heart

nuzzle close and k n o w:

He is God

and He is good.

(And pssst: He. Has. Already. Won!)

“You will not need to fight in this battle. Position yourselves, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord who. is. with. you.”

6 thoughts on “Dear Miss Bossy Self,

  1. I love the portion “Oh dear sweet, scared Miss Bossy Self,
    I am not being asked to “settle down”
    I am being asked to settle in,” and wonder if you’ve heard Jesus speak those words directly into your heart?

  2. Jane, I’m in the midst of settling in and trying not to listen to my bossy self nagging “settle down, Pat, just settle down!! It’s just a surgery”!! …. this one is different somehow….. A mom ended her teenage daughter’s therapy w me suddenly instead of just a “seeya later”…. So I’m grieving at the same time I need to just “settle in His arms” a little more closely during the next couple of months.. Hold me close, Lord, I’m both scared and sad for lots of different soulish reasons. Give me Your Peace, love, and comfort, Lord. I need You now, Lord.

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