I don’t have big dreams for my life. I never have. Not ones that I thought qualified as ‘big enough’ anyways.
I’m not talking wants – I’ve got a million travel dream wants. No, I’m talking the biggies, the kind of dreams that give credence that this time on earth was not spent in vain. The kind that answer, “What’s my purpose? Why am I here? What difference will my life have made?” (…beyond the usual wife-mother-daughter-sister-friend type of thing.)
And, I’ve got to be honest, this land of Dreams Not Big Enough has been a land I’m tired of traveling.
So I’ve been thinking about dreams, and the fingerprint of my life, and the DNA of who I was created to be. Not who my husband was created to be. Not my brother or my sons. Not my out-going, would love to be her, friend… Just ME: a sharpshooting, Plain Jane, with vine-swing tendencies. (Calamity Jane and Tarzan, get it?)
Bottom line, I was created quiet, introspective, and small…but I can pack a punch. So maybe all those dreams I once considered to be insignificant, all the dreams of digging deep and being real… all the dreams that play out quietly in the day to day unseen… Maybe just maybe, they can pack a punch too?
Small dreams can be powerful, too. Because as big as the God of the universe is… He is also the God of the nuclear.
So I listen to his storm-stilling words, and feel them soothe my fear, “Yes, Punkin’, it is okay to dream Little… to dream Quiet.” I listen to the waves calm and the battered boat settle. I listen to the Shepherd’s voice as it reassures me: This is His boat. This is His fight. This is His dream.
“Commit your way to the Lord. Trust also in Him. And He shall bring it to pass.”
“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.”
“Do not worry about tomorrow, little one, for tomorrow will worry about itself.”
I am lulled to rest again, nestling close,
and this time I dream small…
In my dream… I live THIS day — this moment — looking for the good works which God prepared in advance for me to do.
In my dream… I carefully number this day, wearing it as the beautiful gift that it is, and put it to bed with joy and thanksgiving –no. matter. what.
In my dream… I make a difference with a smile, with a selfless act, with a nuclear-powered prayer.
And in the wildest, explosive parts of my nuclear-sized dream, (dare I say it out loud?)…
I see signs and wonders following … all the way to Jesus. Not because I’m looking for signs and wonders, or dreams ill-fit for my God-designed britches, but simply because I’m looking for Him
and choosing this day to follow a gynormously big and intricately exquisite Creator
… and be loved by him.