Look up

I get car sick

and seasick

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and any other churning illusion that paints itself Deathly Dizzy White.

I know its optical trickery.

I know Outside stands still beyond the car window… as I’m catapulted forward motionless

I know the horizon stretches beyond me steady and true … as I bob and weave among Life’s waves.

Yet try as I might, my head and my stomach can’t sort out what is still and what is moving, and I buy-in to the illusion every time. Every. Stinkin’. Time. I just can’t seem to reconcile what’s happening around me with what’s happening inside me

… and I’m left dizzy, nauseous and in desperate need for some sweet kiss-the-ground reality.

Over the years, I’ve learned how to fight this green-gilled monster. I know to guard closely, from the start, the smidgeon of balance that cowers in my inner ear. I know to let fresh air splash my face and fasten my gaze straight ahead. I know to lock sights on a distant point with the focus of a sharpshooter.

And I know to always. look. up. ALWAYS.

But Life’s choices aren’t always wrapped so neat and tidy. One day you’re looking out on the horizon of a calm and endless sea, and the next you’re gazing down mesmerized- hypnotized- by the Everydays that swirl at your feet. And before you know it, you’re pushed and tugged, whirled and churned, and left with your stomach in your throat, your head in your lap, and your feet stuck deep in shifting sand — praying to God for the spinning to stop.

Because you know all the regrets in the world won’t quiet the whirling madness that spirals in your head. Only the one who calmed the sea. With a word. And for this you hold on tight, and hold on strong,

and wait for the dizziness to pass

… because it will. It will.

So open wide the window and feel fresh the wind

It will pass.

Laugh. Cry. Dig deep. Breathe slow.

It will pass.

Look up. Look far. Look deep.

It will pass.

It will.

“I look to the hills from whence cometh my help? My help comes from the Lord
the maker of heaven and earth.”

Photo credit: Wendy Zukerman at Flickr
Photo credit: Wendy Zukerman at Flickr
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2 Comments Add yours

  1. Pat Whitson says:

    I resonate with your entry today, both physically as well as spiritually…. The last two weekends (notice they’re always weekends) I’ve had serious bouts of vertigo… On the spiritual side, well that’s a complicated story of swelling waves taking me off “my” course, and others that seem like Tsunamis with their damage. All illusions? Perhaps…. Lord, Lord, from whom all my hope come… Come now, Lord. Come.

  2. Sounds like it’s time for some ear to ear……. Love you, Pat. Remember: it will pass.

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